My first semester of my first year of college is almost over.
Yeah. This semester went by super quick and it was a roller coaster of emotions and school work being done the night before it was due. I’ve found out a lot about myself in those three months and it’s interesting.
I’ve also taken advantage of the whole “living downtown” aspect of college and had a few casual hookups, but I really need to not do that and get in to the harrowing world of the casual sex with strangers met on a gay meet app.
My relationship with my family is alright - they haven’t really changed which is good and bad. Good because it’s nice to be around the familiar and consistent, bad because they can be too much sometimes.
So, overall, schools been cool, family is alright, and I’ve gained 30 pounds over the semester. I can’t fit my pants and that is making a bigger impact on my self esteem than ever because 1)pants are expensive and 2)I can’t believe I let myself go like that without even noticing. I don’t know. It’s worrying me but at the same time I have other things to worry about like school and a social life and finding a man.
But oh wait how do you find a man when a)the guys you try to initiate conversation with on the gay meet up app do not even reply and b)you know literally no other gays outside of your fraternity which would be really weird to date because they’re your brothers and dating your brother is just weird.
My friends asked me what type of guy I am in to today, but that idea is just really vague.
There is not a specific ‘type’ of guy I am on the look out for.
I want a guy to need me and I would need him.
College is going well so far! I’ve been (somewhat) keeping on top of my school work and doing a lot of things that have been keeping my on my feet. Things such as:
I can honestly say this is the happiest I have been in such a long time. Although, there are some interpersonal conflicts with my roommate which are not ridiculous situations; just little things. I hope it does not keep building and blow up at the end of the semester, though.
There are so many cute boys here it is RIDICULOUS. But, strangely, I am not boy crazy due to that - I am more of “me” crazy. I am just seeing college as a time to really work on myself and see what I want to do in life. I already notice some changes and am somewhat having to keep reminding myself that I am getting closer and closer to adulthood. It is a little scary, but the journey to it will be great - I am sure of it.
OH. And to add on to the above list: I decided to rush. I mean. It is pretty crazy - I somehow convinced myself in high school that I did not want any part of it because of money issues. But now I am slowly but surely growing fond of the idea of rushing. I guess it is brought on part by my large amount of school spirit that I have from going to Transylvania. I actually really like going to class and waking up to learn everyday. It is a pretty great feeling. But I have to remember to keep up with my school work and not goof up.